Issue Space is all about holding space to process life in the business of impact – an experience that’s never been put to the test quite like now.

In this letter, we hear the lived experience of a researcher whose work focuses on groups in the crosshairs of “DEI” backlash as she navigates feeling targeted, waits to hear from impact leadership, and looks for new ways to feed her spirit.

Do you work at a federal agency or at an organization that’s federally funded?

I work for a global human rights advocacy organization. We are not federally funded, but some of our collaborative partners have received federal support, like being in working groups with the Biden administration. Now, new Executive Orders have rescinded those collaborations, and that work is gone.

What kind of work do you do personally?

I do research relating to racial justice for Black and Indigenous Peoples and communities who’ve been affected by things like climate change or the actions of big corporations that compromise the environment.

How are you feeling about your work right now?

I’m definitely thinking about leaving impact work eventually. I don’t think I could leave it entirely, but I do see myself making my own complementary path in it where there isn’t so much secondary trauma. The way we work, we’re supposed to be self-sacrificing and make it seem like we aren’t personally impacted [by the issues we’re working on]. There’s this belief that you can sort of just push through it without needing breaks, or behave like it’s not real when it very much is. But as a Black woman who's the mother of a Black child, it's hard for me to detach — this work on racial justice is [about] my family.

The organization I’m at has been able to exist because these issues didn’t personally impact the people who were working on them originally. And I understand that the history of the nonprofit space was, generally speaking, mostly wealthy white women who might not have been impacted by the issues and who had the ability to go, “Oh, this is so sad, but let me go back to my home and live my life.” But I’m not in a position to be like, “I have so much wealth that none of this will even impact me.” I don’t have that. That’s a legacy of the space’s origins in privilege.

So I was thinking about [leaving] before now, but the thing is, I also don’t see myself in the corporate world and don’t think I would do well in it at all. I’m not very interested in selling things. I’m not very good at caring about things that ultimately have no real impact. It’s not to say we don’t need that space; it’s just not me. I’m very driven by truth-telling and justice and human rights.

Your work seems directly vulnerable to the anti-“DEI” action we’re seeing now (recognizing that many people don’t think that term is a helpful one, for a number of reasons). How do you think about the relationship between your work and that backlash?

Right now the climate is state-sanctioned anti-Black women targeting. I have a friend who works at the CDC — she’s a Black woman who’s been there for a long time — and now she’s on a target list. When I ask my organization what we’re doing to protect us in this work, their plans are retroactive. Like, ‘If you get a threat, let us know!’ But what are you doing to keep that from happening?

I remember working on a racial justice project a few years ago and in the proposal we were asked if we had any security concerns. And I asked [my organization] to make sure there were systems in place to shield our personal information from the Internet. I do my due diligence personally but working for an organization with a certain name, there's a brand now attached to my name, it makes me anxious and worried. It's not just about me; it's about my whole family's safety. A few years ago I was already concerned, and now seeing how emboldened [people] are to threaten Black women particularly is just scary.

Broadly speaking, I don't know if the nonprofit world is really prepared for that. The last time I worked at a place with good protection for its staff, it was an advocacy litigation firm who invested in online privacy protection for every staff member. It gave me just a little bit more calm. But I'm not at that organization anymore, and my role now is considered even more influential in my organization than the other one was.

What do you want decision-makers in the social impact space to know about your experience in this moment, especially hearing you say that you want more investment in staff wellbeing and protection during a time when impact organizations may be cutting their budgets?

That’s a really good question. There will definitely be some huge changes within my organization and I’m sure others feel the same. But with the truth-seeking and justice-oriented mindset that I have, I feel like, alright — the ball’s in their court. And that will decide if I’m staying or going. That’s really how I’m thinking about it. It feels so weird to be writing reports about workplace wellbeing and intimidation in other parts of the world and I’m like — are we assessing ourselves too and holding ourselves to the same standards?

My gut is telling me that this is a defining moment. The way we move from here will expose ultimately what is the ethos of the impact space. We’re at a critical juncture — we either take the path where we assume that staff already have protection and just need to tough it out and push through, or we recognize who the staff are and become vigilant in protecting them.

I’m noticing among staff at my organization that people are exhausted and eventually it will break and expose where we’re headed. It’s a choice for every organization’s leadership. That will decide whether people start leaving the impact space en masse, or if they feel protected and driven to be a part of the positive impact and change for society.

I think there’s so much collaboration among the big NGOs that we follow each other, we have friends across organizations, you hear how others are doing things, and we influence each other outside of thematic expertise and into our personnel and workplace culture. For example, when a union starts at one organization, there’s a ripple effect where they start popping up at others until it’s like, okay, in this space, we now openly support unions.

I think it will become clear in the next six months or so. They’re starting to make financial decisions – [the next investments] will either be more in our external work or into internal wellbeing.

Finally, how are you looking out for your wellbeing as a social impact pro during this stressful time? How are you thinking about the future?

Working from home has helped. I think if I had to go into the office in this climate right now — no. I wouldn’t be okay. This [work-from-home arrangement] is good for my work-life balance. Being a parent is playing a huge role in how I think about my organization in this social impact space and how I take care of myself.

I’ve been thinking about investing more in storytelling and conversations. It’s definitely connected to my work, but I’m also thinking about it to feed the parts of myself that I’m not going to get in the workplace, the parts of myself that need to talk about certain things. I’m finding ways to take care of myself outside of the work. That’s what I’m going to invest in more.

Read another social impact pro’s account of work-life in this moment here.

We welcome your thoughts, ideas, and experiences about life in the business of impact. Reach out via email at [email protected] or on Signal at @issuespace.24.

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